Skip to main content

Winter Solstice


Photo credit: https://creativelyuncorked.com


As we get drunk on that year
regret and joy swirl together,
in a concoction
bitter and sweet,
raging poison that I devour quickly.

Sitting across from me
you look at me with those eyes
an ember simmering quietly,
and once again I’m taken back
to your year worth of ‘love you’s
and my goodbyes
that I never really got to say.
I should be mad at you
but i look at you now
and
i
just
can’t
resist
you.

But this time,
i don’t overlook the truth
i can’t mistake the unabashed joy in your smile
when you say her name, anymore.
Every syllable you utter
makes my heart skip a beat in all the wrong ways
so I try to drown the suffocation
with liquid delusion
but I fail
and you see through me
you always saw right through me.

I feel an overwhelming sense of shame right then
how does someone see right through you
but still fail to love you
how?

Comments


  1. I feel an overwhelming sense of shame right then
    how does someone see right through you
    but still fail to love you
    how?
    ??
    -An ugly guy

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Blank Canvas

Clarissa stared at the blank Canvas. It was the umpteenth time she had tried drawing that day and every time she had failed miserably. Heaps of scrunched white paper laid beneath her feet but even so, she wasn't done with the assignment yet. Art class that afternoon had been immensely enlightening. "Art comes from you heart and not your head. It unfolds the mystery of your sub-conscious. You may pretend things to be otherwise, but always remember that a piece of art is the window to your soul. It never lies", he'd said. And She had nodded, to herself more than anyone else. At the end of the class he had told everyone to draw something that made them smile, without reason and in the most turbulent of times. The pencil she'd been holding fell from her grasp and she bounced back from her reverie. She brainstormed again and again. She picked up the pencil and thought of various ways it could go. What was the thing she lived for ? She thought of the place sh...

Things and Places- II

Photo credit: Tumblr.com This is the second part of the story I wrote a couple months back. You can click on this link " Things and Places- I " to read the first part. Also, these stories are based on a real events. I'm kidding! Maybe :P Sameer It'd been two weeks since I'd been talking to Sneha over the email. And our conversations had only gotten more amusing. Like a few days back they had argued over their least favorite/favorite Book-to-Movie adaptation and I hadn't laughed like that in ages. Dear Sneha, Don't judge me. But my least favorite book-to-movie adaptation is ....... Twilight series. Yes, I've read them.  And watched ALL the movies. Yes, all five of them. Sue me. -Sameer Dear Sameer, Judge you ? what ? I respect you more because It takes guts to accept you've read Twilight series in today's world. :D Let me let you in on a secret, I've read Twilight series twice. lol -Sneha Dear Sneha, Haha, For Real?...

How I Met Your Mother vs Friends

Photo:Pinterest I watched How I Met Your Mother for the first time when I was in 7 th  grade. At that time, the jokes most likely went right over my head and I probably didn’t understand the context to many things but still something about Ted Mosby resonated with me, even then. I have always struggled with keeping my love in check like him which has led to various failings throughout the years but Ted’s always had my back by being one step ahead. For these reasons and more, I whole-heartedly love the show. On the other hand, I watched F.R.I.E.N.D.S. a couple years later and thought it was mostly nice. I’d all but forgotten about it until last year when, for some reason, everyone started talking about it. I, by no means, thought it was a bad show but I couldn’t fathom why everyone liked it  so much . People started labelling it superior to HIMYM which didn’t sit well with me. So I decided to re-watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S to gain perspective which led me to the conclusio...

Romanticism

I wanted to hold your hand Amidst the crashing waves But I never seemed to understand the conditions to our affection Why could we fall apart onto each other sometimes, blind to everything else; Other times, I couldn’t even ask you to hold me, Why was I so afraid of rejection?   Did I romanticize your flimsy behavior? Or was I just a liar; Making up scenarios to downplay the extent of my emotions Because I keep choosing hurt over emptiness Delusion over reality; It does make me sometimes wonder Do I want affection or an excuse to not go seeking it?  

The Knowing

Hey folks,, What's up with you guys? As of me I'm super busy with the assignments and home-works !! No matter how much effort I put....there's always another pile of assignments to complete! (sighs) Anyways.....this time I'm going to post a story I wrote ....Immature you may tell me but I seriously am improving day by day... :) ....Here's goes the story... Aryaa looked stunning in the red gown. Her face was gleaming. He couldn’t help watching her. She was moving so abruptly and graciously towards him that he nearly fainted. She looked ravishing and the pretty girl was now standing by his side. She looked at him with her big sparkly eyes. Her alluring fragrance was lifting him off his feet. She gestured him to tell him something in his ear. He absent-mindedly moved towards her. “Wake Up, Rahul” was what she said. For once he couldn’t make out what she was referring to and the next moment he opened his eyes. Rahul was already so late for college yet his mom insi...

Things and Places - I

Hello everyone, This month I've decided to do a series kind of thing. This is the first part of the story. And I'll be completing the story in the months to come. I might post something else in between but I'll definitely finish this one. Hope you like it :) Sameer She was browsing through the fiction section at a book store. She looked thoroughly engrossed yet was consciously glancing sideways. I suddenly looked away, embarrassed. As I glanced back at her general direction after a while, she was nervously taking out 'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows' from the shelf. I smiled. After that she disappeared once more  into the stacks and stacks of books. I picked up the book I was looking for and lazily made my way to the counter. Just when I handed over the money, she came along carrying 'The Great Gatsby', a Sidney Sheldon book  along with Harry Potter which was on the bottom of the bunch. Taking a cue from the universe about her meticulous timing...

Unabashedly Nepali

Credit: nepalitypo.blogspot.com The week between Game of Thrones episode for me is always the time for incessant theory-searching. I read hundreds of articles, watch hundreds of videos every week not just to gain an unpopular intel on the plot but honestly, just to stay sane through the wait. So last night when I was satiating my inquisitiveness via Youtube, I stumbled onto a video regarding some scenes from the show which didn't make the final cut. The video mentioned an actress named something "Acharya" whose character had died a horrible death in Season 2. "Hmmm....That sounds vaguely like a Nepali name" I thought to myself and immediately googled her. Imagine my surprise when I found out that the actress who played one of Danaerys' helper is a Nepali girl named Amrita Acharia. I was beyond excited. A Nepali person was not only present on the sets of Game of Thrones but also played a moderately important character. There were two things running ...

Purple.

it all began one august day as the sky bled into hues of purple, a coy smile from me, some words spoken in the dark from you and with the silent heat of our barely there touches, the yearning turned to longing. and come september, the longing will turn to love.  and all it will take is an epiphany,  an unintelligible distant symphony, a moment of chance miracle and you will know, that answers were never outside but within. you’d expect it to be earth shattering  but it is a mere revelation it’s a switch you flick in your own mind  that surrenders your soul. no matter what other say,  it was a choice then and it will continue to remain so. 

about love

When I was 10, love was Familiarity. Love was big eyes and sweet smile, coming over to give me his share of chocolates that he got for someone's birthday. Love was getting picked to play with him first. Love was random calls to my house that my mom picked up. Love was waiting for his silly emails over long summer breaks. Love was knowing I was his best friend. When I was 14, love was a Secret. Love was staring at his pretty eyes from far away. Love was the music in my ears whenever I heard him call my name. However, love was also sly. Love was accidentally brushing against his skin while walking beside him. Love was catching him looking at me and at once looking away. Love was the crescendo of heartbeats that came after. Love was... finding out it was love. When I was 17, love was All-knowing. Love was thinking pretty eyes wasn't love at all. Love was realizing I hadn't met love yet but knowing exactly what he looked like. Love will.... definitely be taller than me....

Our story :)

Hey people! So, this story is here because of the special request from a few special people (Apee Regmi and Aayushma Khadka and so on..).I wrote this story some 2 years ago on Valentines day....so it revolves around the same thing. When people read this story they ALWAYS ask me if it happened for real and I say 'no'. It would be fun to have a guy like him with me but NO.  This story is NOT... I'll say it one more time... It is NOT based on my experience so you can stop whatever you are planning on questioning me based on the story. Hope I'm clear about this. (sighs) So here goes the story: Young people are very excited as V-day turns up. Some are happy while others are anxious. on 2005 V-day, I also belonged to the anxious group because I was going to ask someone out on that very day, for the very first time in my life. I am Samaira. I normally didn’t believe in love but after meeting him the feeling isn’t peculiar anymore. Aryan made me believe in love, in...