Onsra

Onsra: (Serbian; A bittersweet feeling that a love won't last)

I write our story in pencil

Making bold scratches under forever

Not knowing if its fate that i'm convincing

or myself.

We make plans together

you cancel them,

I feign indifference

because fighting will split us apart

or bring us together

And i'm not sure we're ready for either.

But as I lay intertwined in your arms

all issues remain distant

there's you and me

Your lips

my shoulders

Your eyes

my composure

bursting into flames

with every breath we take together.

But truth remains in goodbyes

Because we aren't as subtle as autumnal leaves

that change colors into winter every October

Each time you say goodbye

I don't know if it's forever

Sometimes, hoping it is

Most nights praying it's not

Because as much as we don't want each other,

we need each other.

I need you to fill my art

And you need me to fill your mind.

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Blank Canvas

Clarissa stared at the blank Canvas. It was the umpteenth time she had tried drawing that day and every time she had failed miserably. Heaps of scrunched white paper laid beneath her feet but even so, she wasn't done with the assignment yet. Art class that afternoon had been immensely enlightening. "Art comes from you heart and not your head. It unfolds the mystery of your sub-conscious. You may pretend things to be otherwise, but always remember that a piece of art is the window to your soul. It never lies", he'd said. And She had nodded, to herself more than anyone else. At the end of the class he had told everyone to draw something that made them smile, without reason and in the most turbulent of times. The pencil she'd been holding fell from her grasp and she bounced back from her reverie. She brainstormed again and again. She picked up the pencil and thought of various ways it could go. What was the thing she lived for ? She thought of the place sh...

I know I can count on you :)

Hey good people!! Its been long since I updated my blog. But you know,when I don't feel 'ít', I just can't write anything! lol I know that I keep telling this but every bit of the next sentence is true. I'm just crazy like that! :P Okay, so today's post is certainly not about my stupidity.(You had probably guessed that considering the large heading but I wanted to mention it anyways..lol) The post right here is about the people who accept my tantrums, silliness, mood swings and most importantly my 'short-temperedness' with ease ( I do 'chill out' after a short while even if I get angry VERY fast.. but lord bless those people!! It can be hard at times :P ) . This post is all about the people who make my life great. Yes,Friends are what i'm talking about...even if you didn't guess it already regarding the cheesy lines :P Today happens to be THE friendship day , so, I thought what better day could I pick to write about th...

about love

When I was 10, love was Familiarity. Love was big eyes and sweet smile, coming over to give me his share of chocolates that he got for someone's birthday. Love was getting picked to play with him first. Love was random calls to my house that my mom picked up. Love was waiting for his silly emails over long summer breaks. Love was knowing I was his best friend. When I was 14, love was a Secret. Love was staring at his pretty eyes from far away. Love was the music in my ears whenever I heard him call my name. However, love was also sly. Love was accidentally brushing against his skin while walking beside him. Love was catching him looking at me and at once looking away. Love was the crescendo of heartbeats that came after. Love was... finding out it was love. When I was 17, love was All-knowing. Love was thinking pretty eyes wasn't love at all. Love was realizing I hadn't met love yet but knowing exactly what he looked like. Love will.... definitely be taller than me....

Love & Hate

PC: Elitedaily.com Silence woke her. As she laid on the floor, saliva drooping from her mouth, she realized it had gotten darker. She must have passed out for an hour or so. She sub-consciously touched her forehead. There was no blood this time but she knew it would bruise. The glass had hit her pretty hard, after all. Hits, Bruises and cover-ups were just another day in this household. As she got bearings of the time and place, she started to look around. Few yards away in the next room, she saw a heap of limbs passed out on the floor. Upon closer inspection, she could smell the concoction of alcohol, vomit and sweat. The view was jarring but she wasn't repulsed. The emotion that overcame her was pity. Pity at the man who was her husband. Pity at the man she once loved. As she looked back, she didn't know where exactly she she went wrong with her life. Born to a privileged family, she was smart and beautiful. No wonder, she had caught an athlete's eye. He was pre...

Falling Out

This was in no way in my thinking, Never thought we would end up this way Even with all the hopes and promises of forever We slowly drifted away. Even though you think otherwise now, You had a special place in my heart, always. I don't think that can ever be filled up No one can ever take that place, no way! I might have said the wrong things, I might have always wanted my way I apologize for all of it, I don't want to end things the bitter way. No matter how things ended between us, I never wanted it in any way But I do hope that you remain happy, And realize that all I wanted was to see you that way. We had an unfortunate falling out, I don't know who is to blame, But, I will always love you I know you will do the same.

Turning Time

PC: thereadingroom.com [Published as 'There and back again' on 'The Kathmandu Post' on 24th July, 2016] As he entered the strange world, the air immediately got crisper, cooler. The fact that he had expected it didn't change how it affected him every time. The hair down his spine stood straight and he grabbed onto his jacket a little tighter. He was already out of place with his pair of jeans and blue button-down. His only hope was that the jacket shielded him against the oddity. Being transported to the new timeline was always strange. And the fact that he was always transported to the same date, July 28, 1914 even stranger. As he shuffled out the alley, he knew exactly what to expect. Just like the other times, a woman came charging down the street with a kid. He always narrowly missed stumbling into them. So today, he made a point to take a pause before entering the street. He was learning, despite the fact that he didn’t know why or how he got sent to t...

My Solace

My mom had been pestering me to clean my room since ages and there was always something that I used against her to put it off. Yeah, I am no clean freak ...... but my mom is. I am not all up for untidy rooms but no matter how often I put everything in place, somehow a day after everything gets messed up again. So I don't bother much. This morning I finally succumbed to my mom's pleas and decided to do it anyway. I started with my study table as it needed the most immediate attention. And as soon as I got started, I unknowingly rummaged through old notebooks and rough copies. On the last page of EVERY single notebook, there were those scribbles of short poems and extracts of how my day was going on. It got me smiling and a sort of ecstasy spread through my veins. I had always been the kind of person who expressed her feelings through words and .... I haven’t changed one bit. :) The thing with me is - I don't speak much. I was never the person with the largest gro...

The #Selfie Phenomenon

If you hadn't been visiting some another planet in the recent times, you are no newbie to the world of Sellfies. And at one point or another you have fallen for the selfie-trap, for the lack of a better word. Let's face it, we are pretty much obsessed with it...Well, most of us anyway. Also, as of today,there are over 23 million photos with the hashtag "#selfie" and a whopping 51 million with the hashtag "me" on Instagram. What makes it so popular? I don't precisely remember taking my first selfie but I do know that it was not too long ago. And ever since I laid my hands on the phone with a front-facing camera, me taking a selfie has been all the more frequent. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that it's literally the easiest way to take a picture of yourself: You just have to unlock the phone screen, tap the camera icon, tilt your head or the phone on a flattering angle and then tap the capture button (THAT easy!) against the traditi...

On moving 6629km alone away from home

It was a fresh start, one that I needed desperately. Applications and documentation had taken so much of my time and sucked so much of my energy, I don't think I quite comprehended what the move was going to entail. While I was open to changes, I don't think I was aware of how much transformation across all aspects of life it would take to acclimatise myself to my new reality. I was just happy for a fresh start. Nothing else mattered. But turns out, getting on the plane is the easiest step in all of this. The amount of transformation I've gone through and learning I've done in the past couple months is truly insane, to say the least. Recently, a friend back home asked me how I was doing living alone and I thought about it. Honestly, it hasn't been all good or all bad, but the important thing has been rooting and balancing myself despite it all. Not sure if anything I've written will be groundbreaking or something that hasn't been already said 7 million time...

Rust & stardust

There's not much to say about love beyond what has already been said But in the past, every time we fell apart I always used to find new ways To bleed on paper about you. Yet, this time has been different Because the words I spit out about you now don't make any sense Just like how we fell apart doesn't make any sense. Every time I sat down to write this, My thoughts always went back to that one time When you said I'd never be able to write anything without you in it, ever again. I laughed and rolled my eyes at you then But I knew you were right Even during the long stretches of radio silence between us, my words always seemed to find their way back to you. You were sometimes the hero in my stories Sometimes the villain And yet, you were there Car...

...I speak my mind =)