I wanted to hold your hand
Amidst the crashing waves
But I never seemed to understand the conditions
to our affection
Why could we fall apart onto each other sometimes,
blind to everything else;
Other times, I couldn’t even ask you to hold me,
Why was I so afraid of rejection?
Did I romanticize your flimsy behavior?
Or was I just a liar;
Making up scenarios
to downplay the extent of my emotions
Because I keep choosing hurt over emptiness
Delusion over reality;
It does make me sometimes wonder
Do I want affection or an excuse to not go seeking it?
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