...I speak my mind =)

You’re like a feverish daydream, Floating in and out of my life endlessly, Because all your arrivals Leave me in a daze And with my heart relentlessly thudding against my chest, My mind racing against time itself Relapsing into a cacophony of emotions Rehashing our memories over and over Until I can't think straight. In your wake, I’m always left wondering- Are you even real? Or are you just a figment of my subconscious? Chiding me time and again, About how impassioned my life can truly be But   i s n’ t. 2:22  moonlight, i dream of you endlessly  drowning in reverie, waiting for morning

There's not much to say about love beyond what has already been said But in the past, every time we fell apart I always used to find new ways To bleed on paper about you. Yet, this time has been different Because the words I spit out about you now don't make any sense Just like how we fell apart doesn't             make                        any              sense. Every time I sat down to write this, My thoughts always went back to that one time  When you said I'd never be able to write anything without you in it, ever again. I laughed and rolled my eyes at you then But I knew you were right Even during the long stretches of radio silence between us,  my words always seemed to find their way back to you.  You were sometimes the hero in my stories Sometimes the villain And yet,  you were there Carefully folded into euphemisms and metaphors some days of rust and stardust other days, of lies and disguise Regardless, you a

When I was 10, love was Familiarity. Love was big eyes and sweet smile, coming over to give me his share of chocolates that he got for someone's birthday. Love was getting picked to play with him first. Love was random calls to my house that my mom picked up. Love was waiting for his silly emails over long summer breaks. Love was knowing I was his best friend. When I was 14, love was a Secret. Love was staring at his pretty eyes from far away. Love was the music in my ears whenever I heard him call my name. However, love was also sly. Love was accidentally brushing against his skin while walking beside him. Love was catching him looking at me and at once looking away. Love was the crescendo of heartbeats that came after. Love was... finding out it was love. When I was 17, love was All-knowing. Love was thinking pretty eyes wasn't love at all. Love was realizing I hadn't met love yet but knowing exactly what he looked like. Love will.... definitely be taller than me.

Photo credit: https://creativelyuncorked.com As we get drunk on that year regret and joy swirl together, in a concoction bitter and sweet, raging poison that I devour quickly. Sitting across from me you look at me with those eyes an ember simmering quietly, and once again I’m taken back to your year worth of ‘love you’s and my goodbyes that I never really got to say. I should be mad at you but i look at you now and i just can’t resist you. But this time, i don’t overlook the truth i can’t mistake the unabashed joy in your smile when you say her name, anymore. Every syllable you utter makes my heart skip a beat in all the wrong ways so I try to drown the suffocation with liquid delusion but I fail and you see through me you always saw right through me. I feel an overwhelming sense of shame right then how does someone see right through you but still fail to love you how?

1 As we were sitting atop a hill overlooking the city, I told you how I loved sunsets. The fervor of the day changing into night, the caramelization of everything under the sun, the breathtaking frenzy of colors and how no two sunsets ever looked the same... I told you how I loved it all. You looked at me quizzically like you didn't comprehend a word I'd just said. You then confessed to me how you felt there were better things to do than spend time watching sunsets and gently kissed me on the lips for the first time ever. 2 It was a sweltering summer's day and we were both melting under the Kathmandu sun. I'd asked you to come help me out buy a dress. You asked me what sort of dress I wanted to buy. I had no idea yet so I told you the first thing that came to my head, something that always made my heart happy- Red. You mirrored your expressions from a few weeks ago. You confessed you didn't think I could pull off a Red dress. Maybe I should go with a tra