Twisted.

1

As we were sitting atop a hill overlooking the city, I told you how I loved sunsets. The fervor of the day changing into night, the caramelization of everything under the sun, the breathtaking frenzy of colors and how no two sunsets ever looked the same... I told you how I loved it all. You looked at me quizzically like you didn't comprehend a word I'd just said. You then confessed to me how you felt there were better things to do than spend time watching sunsets and gently kissed me on the lips for the first time ever.

2

It was a sweltering summer's day and we were both melting under the Kathmandu sun. I'd asked you to come help me out buy a dress. You asked me what sort of dress I wanted to buy. I had no idea yet so I told you the first thing that came to my head, something that always made my heart happy- Red. You mirrored your expressions from a few weeks ago. You confessed you didn't think I could pull off a Red dress. Maybe I should go with a traditional black that looks good on everyone? And maybe you could buy me that dress instead?

3

One night when we were talking on the phone until the wee hours of dawn, you asked me what my perfect day looked like. Even though I'd never thought about it before, I closed my eyes and it all came to me at once. I told you that it'd be a sunny day somewhere pretty, Italy maybe? And I'd be overlooking the bluest of blue seas sprawling endlessly ahead of me. I'd be engrossed over a good book with a well-made cup of magic auto-refilling tea in front of me, I said, chuckling. You had laughed. You asked me if that was all? And wouldn't that be a little too boring?

4

It was a frigid January evening because how could I ever forget? We'd just had a nice dinner at a quaint little restaurant we always went to. As we made our way out of the place, I leaned in to you for a goodbye kiss. Rather than leaning in, you had swiftly leaned back. I need to talk to you, you'd said. I asked you if it was going where I thought it was going? You gave me a sad smile. You told me how I was the nicest girl you'd ever met but- I cut you off.
Hurt.
Broken.
Miserable.
In that split second, I wondered why it was so easy for these feeling to reclaim my heart. I said a feeble farewell and walked away before the words could take me prisoner and suffocate me in my own skin, any more than they already had.

Looking back, I always wonder why you'd chosen to say a nice thing about me then, when I'd endured every mean, twisted thing you said when you thought you were just being honest.
I had loved you, despite it.
I loved you.
~~I love you.~~

Comments

The little things that matter :)

We people take too many things for granted in life. We are never satisfied with the things we already have in our possession. Don't get me wrong, when I say things, I don't only mean the superficial things like house, car, dresses blah blah.... I'm using here it in the simplest sense. So that includes the good times, the bad times and all the the other things in life that you can think of at this very instant! Because even the worst things have some positive effect on us....... But us not knowing the worth of those moments is a completely different story... :P We are always very busy complaining about the things that have gone wrong or the things which we feel are 'well below the mark'. Why cant we just shut up, sit down and enjoy the awesomeness around us? Because no matter how miserable we feel our life is there's always this other person who would love to have our life , like any day..! When I say it out loud it does seem intriguing, doesn't it...

Sensations

PC: lovethispic.com He isn't cute. Cute doesn't even begin to describe half the person that he is. Cute is momentary, flimsy. And he is the furthest from flimsy as one can get. He is beautiful. His voice is beautiful, his laugh is beautiful and the way he looks at me, he makes me feel like I'm the most beautiful girl he's ever laid his eyes upon. He is a blazing flame. And I am but a mere moth. I'll get burnt, I know it. He doesn't promise me otherwise, either. Deciding it will be worth it has made all the difference. I could say I love him, but those three words can never justify the kaleidoscope of sensations I feel when I'm with him. He is all colors in one, at full brightness.

I Want It No More !!

Hey lovely people ! Ah... It feels so good to be updating my blog after such a long time. It was not like I was busy or something..... i just could think of anything to blabber about at all . Pretty strange, right ? haha Anyways, the writer me is back , I think :P lol. *enough of the drama now* As the picture above may have suggested , the post today is about a very common human trait- Being judgmental. I was a very judgmental person. I judged and grouped people so fast and involuntarily, that I stunned myself (YES, this really happened !!!) But now I'm slowly trying to outgrow it. I should have realized that I had to get rid of this nature of mine ages ago but oh well! I am a late bloomer and that's not something I can help myself with. I didn't even think I had this problem until a while ago until all of this came daunting on me. All this happened on a social networking website, facebook of course :P There is this group there wher...

Love & Hate

PC: Elitedaily.com Silence woke her. As she laid on the floor, saliva drooping from her mouth, she realized it had gotten darker. She must have passed out for an hour or so. She sub-consciously touched her forehead. There was no blood this time but she knew it would bruise. The glass had hit her pretty hard, after all. Hits, Bruises and cover-ups were just another day in this household. As she got bearings of the time and place, she started to look around. Few yards away in the next room, she saw a heap of limbs passed out on the floor. Upon closer inspection, she could smell the concoction of alcohol, vomit and sweat. The view was jarring but she wasn't repulsed. The emotion that overcame her was pity. Pity at the man who was her husband. Pity at the man she once loved. As she looked back, she didn't know where exactly she she went wrong with her life. Born to a privileged family, she was smart and beautiful. No wonder, she had caught an athlete's eye. He was pre...

On moving 6629km alone away from home

It was a fresh start, one that I needed desperately. Applications and documentation had taken so much of my time and sucked so much of my energy, I don't think I quite comprehended what the move was going to entail. While I was open to changes, I don't think I was aware of how much transformation across all aspects of life it would take to acclimatise myself to my new reality. I was just happy for a fresh start. Nothing else mattered. But turns out, getting on the plane is the easiest step in all of this. The amount of transformation I've gone through and learning I've done in the past couple months is truly insane, to say the least. Recently, a friend back home asked me how I was doing living alone and I thought about it. Honestly, it hasn't been all good or all bad, but the important thing has been rooting and balancing myself despite it all. Not sure if anything I've written will be groundbreaking or something that hasn't been already said 7 million time...

Through it all....

I've been through good times And also been through the bad Have laughed so hard that I fell from a chair But also experienced the falling apart Good times bring joys and ecstasies Tough times bring hard luck only Tribulations and sorrow break us apart But the fun times make it worth while Had there not been the times we cried so hard We’d not know the meaning of happiness We’d never find out what care and love is making our life just the ordinary Some situations are not so easy But the solving part makes it just right The day when good overcomes the ugly Life feels just right :)

thank god it's friday

I don’t know if it’s just me or time seems to be moving a lot faster these days. I simply refuse to believe that it’s been 3 weeks since I joined my new job. And it’s end of March already? No fking way. I haven’t written for a big audience in a long time. If you know me, you know that I have always loved writing but over the past year, life caught up with me. I don’t know if mid 20s for everyone is a whirlwind or if it’s because I moved to a new country or because I was finishing up my Uni, working 4 days a week at my unpaid internship and 20 hours/week nightshift at the job that paid for my life all at the same time, everything was always too much. Sorry to my friends and family that I haven’t called in a while but calling takes too much effort. It’s my least favourite method of communication. But know that I miss you and I love you. Life isn’t bad at all, just a lot. I did try to start writing again in the past year and a half. But everything I wrote was stupid. I didn’t e...

I know I can count on you :)

Hey good people!! Its been long since I updated my blog. But you know,when I don't feel 'ít', I just can't write anything! lol I know that I keep telling this but every bit of the next sentence is true. I'm just crazy like that! :P Okay, so today's post is certainly not about my stupidity.(You had probably guessed that considering the large heading but I wanted to mention it anyways..lol) The post right here is about the people who accept my tantrums, silliness, mood swings and most importantly my 'short-temperedness' with ease ( I do 'chill out' after a short while even if I get angry VERY fast.. but lord bless those people!! It can be hard at times :P ) . This post is all about the people who make my life great. Yes,Friends are what i'm talking about...even if you didn't guess it already regarding the cheesy lines :P Today happens to be THE friendship day , so, I thought what better day could I pick to write about th...

Forever, Always . . . Infinity

There are two kinds of hurt. One is immediate, earth-shattering You wail, scream Weep for the person beyond measure When the self-pity ends, You pick yourself up, Oneday. Other one is slow and steady Creeping up on you when you least expect it. And when it arrives, It leaves back nothing in it's wake. Enveloping you in darkness It neither has an end nor a beginning Only a constant rhythm of hurt flowing through your veins. I don't know which is worse.

21

Being in love is magical. In its truest moment, it takes over your entire being. It's inexplicable yet it will be all that you want to talk about. It will feel like a breath of fresh air after you've been stuck under water for too long. No matter how I put it, it'll sound like a bunch of clichés strung together. Such is love. However, it won't always be the case of bed of roses and happy ever afters. After you've come up for air a few times, the water current will pull you down leaving you questioning if the few gulps of air somehow made your situation infinitely worse. Now you're addicted to the air, but he's left long ago. What do you do now? When you're a teenager, you're made to chase romantic fantasies and happy ever afters. But lets face it: Love is as hard to pull off as it is fulfilling. It takes too much of you when it doesn't work out. And despite having chased all-consuming love for some time in the recent past, somewhere al...

...I speak my mind =)