...I speak my mind =)

Photo credit: https://creativelyuncorked.com As we get drunk on that year regret and joy swirl together, in a concoction bitter and sweet, raging poison that I devour quickly. Sitting across from me you look at me with those eyes an ember simmering quietly, and once again I’m taken back to your year worth of ‘love you’s and my goodbyes that I never really got to say. I should be mad at you but i look at you now and i just can’t resist you. But this time, i don’t overlook the truth i can’t mistake the unabashed joy in your smile when you say her name, anymore. Every syllable you utter makes my heart skip a beat in all the wrong ways so I try to drown the suffocation with liquid delusion but I fail and you see through me you always saw right through me. I feel an overwhelming sense of shame right then how does someone see right through you but still fail to love you how?

1 As we were sitting atop a hill overlooking the city, I told you how I loved sunsets. The fervor of the day changing into night, the caramelization of everything under the sun, the breathtaking frenzy of colors and how no two sunsets ever looked the same... I told you how I loved it all. You looked at me quizzically like you didn't comprehend a word I'd just said. You then confessed to me how you felt there were better things to do than spend time watching sunsets and gently kissed me on the lips for the first time ever. 2 It was a sweltering summer's day and we were both melting under the Kathmandu sun. I'd asked you to come help me out buy a dress. You asked me what sort of dress I wanted to buy. I had no idea yet so I told you the first thing that came to my head, something that always made my heart happy- Red. You mirrored your expressions from a few weeks ago. You confessed you didn't think I could pull off a Red dress. Maybe I should go with a tra...

The sun was dipping down the horizon shattering into brilliant hues of red, as I looked over to you. You were staring back at me with such stark intensity that I audibly shivered. And just like that, my mind travelled back in time as a million images of you flashed in front of my eyes. You were always in such a rush back then. Urgent kisses and hurried gestures. Your arms intertwining across my bare body marking their territory one inch at a time. Your breath and mine perfectly folding into one as we tried to have as much of each other as possible, as soon as possible. I was smitten and when you looked at me with such ferociousness, I could only surrender, breaking under you each time you touched me… “How are you?”     I snapped back from my reverie, mumbling a breathless “Ok…” as I looked down from your unwavering gaze, unable to hold it together anymore. “I can’t believe this is real. I can’t believe you’re really here with me” “I know....

I remember how easy it used to be  Closing my eyes shut  And, at once, seeing their names  On the back of my eyes Painted in bright hues of red  Always so close to feel  To dream  To touch  With 'I love you's  Gushing out of my lips  Faster than I could remember to breathe. Always,  All I did was love, love and love again With never present people  Setting myself to rot  In the chasm they'd build Out of lies and disguise Naïvety or Delusion?  I could never figure. Until one day,  I realized I was the liar Falling in love with feelings Never people. Setting myself up for loss every time  Because despair was a feeling too  And I'd rather feel sad than empty;  Misery than nothingness.

The sweet scent of summer had barely trickled into town. The trees were thawing, making way for color to seep back into the world. The sun dug into my eyes as I tried to take in the blueness of the sky. As my eyes started to tear up, I looked away and they fell on you. I didn't know you at all but as you made your way past me, I knew that that was what love looked like. You were beautiful. A tall, glorious vision I never wanted to forget. I wanted to encase you in a poem, to refrain you from ever leaving my mind, but you walked away before I could think of metaphors and similes. You didn't even look back. You just left. Too soon. The clouds greyed and the sky turned black. My heart was freezing and I desperately wished for the warmth of some one's arms around me. Much later, you told me how you liked people who could make their own fire. It was one of the things that I liked about you because it meant you didn't care how I wasn't looking for an...

Photo:Pinterest I watched How I Met Your Mother for the first time when I was in 7 th  grade. At that time, the jokes most likely went right over my head and I probably didn’t understand the context to many things but still something about Ted Mosby resonated with me, even then. I have always struggled with keeping my love in check like him which has led to various failings throughout the years but Ted’s always had my back by being one step ahead. For these reasons and more, I whole-heartedly love the show. On the other hand, I watched F.R.I.E.N.D.S. a couple years later and thought it was mostly nice. I’d all but forgotten about it until last year when, for some reason, everyone started talking about it. I, by no means, thought it was a bad show but I couldn’t fathom why everyone liked it  so much . People started labelling it superior to HIMYM which didn’t sit well with me. So I decided to re-watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S to gain perspective which led me to the conclusio...