thank god it's friday

I don’t know if it’s just me or time seems to be moving a lot faster these days. I simply refuse to believe that it’s been 3 weeks since I joined my new job. And it’s end of March already? No fking way.

I haven’t written for a big audience in a long time. If you know me, you know that I have always loved writing but over the past year, life caught up with me. I don’t know if mid 20s for everyone is a whirlwind or if it’s because I moved to a new country or because I was finishing up my Uni, working 4 days a week at my unpaid internship and 20 hours/week nightshift at the job that paid for my life all at the same time, everything was always too much. Sorry to my friends and family that I haven’t called in a while but calling takes too much effort. It’s my least favourite method of communication. But know that I miss you and I love you. Life isn’t bad at all, just a lot.

I did try to start writing again in the past year and a half. But everything I wrote was stupid. I didn’t even get too far, I’d write 1 line and think it was the most unnatural, terrible string of words I’ve ever read in my life. In hindsight, I think I was just putting too much pressure on myself. I never learn my lesson, do I? It would’ve been great to put out something stellar and come back with a bang but again, why is that necessary? I want to write because it brings me joy. An audience is just the cherry on top. But if you’re here now, I appreciate you. Thank you for being the void that I’m screaming into.

The vice chancellor at the university I work at sends out an all-staff email sharing some bits of personal and professional life every Friday. It doesn’t delve into much detail but it’s a good piece of writing. A good piece of writing for me is when 1) it’s easy to follow and 2) the dots connect. He briefs us on how he had a plane waiting to fly him to Uluru for work the past Monday morning, his weight loss efforts and how he’s been trying to fix his car and the repair kits just arrived in the mail. Just regular everyday stuff that makes him human and not too intimidating and I dig it. I think he’s a good leader.

I want this to be the same, very newsletter-esque blog post (series?), personal and impersonal but insightful rant, nonetheless. So. What was I up to this past week? I either am at work or sleeping for most part of the 24 hours so it’s not entirely riveting. I wake up, go to work, come back home, go for a walk or gym with friends. After all that I have exactly 1.5 hours for myself. And that too sometimes is reduced by Binaya proposing that I buy us Hungry Jacks ice cream sundae after dinner. I want to read, journal, watch Netflix, catchup on my Youtube subscriptions but alas, such is the two-edged sword of a “stable work life”, you barely have any time for yourself at all. And forget having time for anything else besides one of these things on a standard weekday.

But I did have time for some reflective discussions with friends this week. All my friends think that my life would be better if I had a significant other. It’s funny being the only single person in your friend group and in the workplace. While all my colleagues are worried about what to do for school holidays, I just want to get drunk and swim with the sharks (the good kind) in the Whitsundays soon. I do not care for anyone’s schedule but mine, along with my paid leave balances and the numbers on the banking app on my phone.

“Find someone”, they say.

“But don’t look too hard”

“But don’t not look either”

“You’re amazing, you’ll find someone”

“I have a cousin who was just like you, but she’s now moved back home and is still single at 32”

“No pressure though”

Thanks for the confidence, guys.

But in all seriousness, they mean well. And I appreciate their input as well as their discussion on my singleness. It’s a good outsider input because most of these things already run in my head. So it does validate my thoughts though my life is pretty sweet at the moment.

Maybe it’s the gradual monotony that my life is seeping into, but I can’t help but wonder if this is all there is to life. My life’s purpose can’t be sitting in a stuffy workspace, making small talk that Australians oh-so-love and attending gazillion teams meetings in a day, no matter how much I’m getting paid to pretend to listen. But again, isn’t life purposes overrated? Humans aren’t special. Does a hippopotamus or an octopus or a tree have a life purpose? It just exists. I don’t know. My brain is always arguing with itself, and it does make valid points on both sides. What is the point of all this?

Very “why are we here? just to suffer?” meme of me if I say so myself.

At least I’m starting to write again. And I hope to do this every Friday. Let’s see what revelations are in store as a result of me venting to an invisible audience. Thanks again for being here.

See you next Friday. I doubt it but I’m hopeful.

Love,

Anusha

Some glimpses of life from the past couple days:

Comments

Poems- I

Picture by my friend, quite a long time ago. I wouldn't call myself a poet. A good one, atleast. But every once in a while someone else takes over. Enjoy! Wrote this one last night because I had an exam. And I felt like doing literally anything other than studying. My favorite line: You took me in your arms And like waves we collided Wrote this one some two months back. Just because. My favorite line: But my heart forgets.

I know I can count on you :)

Hey good people!! Its been long since I updated my blog. But you know,when I don't feel 'ít', I just can't write anything! lol I know that I keep telling this but every bit of the next sentence is true. I'm just crazy like that! :P Okay, so today's post is certainly not about my stupidity.(You had probably guessed that considering the large heading but I wanted to mention it anyways..lol) The post right here is about the people who accept my tantrums, silliness, mood swings and most importantly my 'short-temperedness' with ease ( I do 'chill out' after a short while even if I get angry VERY fast.. but lord bless those people!! It can be hard at times :P ) . This post is all about the people who make my life great. Yes,Friends are what i'm talking about...even if you didn't guess it already regarding the cheesy lines :P Today happens to be THE friendship day , so, I thought what better day could I pick to write about th...

Whats your aim, they say!

Hey folks!!! I'm Soooo sorry that I've not been able to post anything much! But you know, I've been super busy! My SLC result got published just recently so all these "getting into a good college " things have kept me at bay even if I'm just 16! Oh, well! Gotta follow the rules down here in Nepal! :P Enough of the babbling (for now !). Okay so I have not been able to write something new lately but I am going to post something, anyway! So, I wrote this a few weeks before the end of my "school days" ...that will be..erm..few months ago. This will keep you guys in perspective. So, here it goes ! =) Few days till the end of the school and I cannot help but think what lays ahead of me in life. I have my SLC coming up and there’s certainly a lot of pressure regarding my exams but there’s also the one regarding my future. Whenever I meet any of my relatives they ask what my aim in life is. “Doctor or Engineer” they say and I cannot help but smile at h...

My first day of college :D

Dear diary, Today was the day that I had dreaded for weeks (months actually :P). As the title suggests, today was the first day of my college life! First day is always the hardest and... so it was. The day as a whole was pretty aggravated and I sure am glad that the day is finally over... As i woke up this morning, all I could think was how this day would possibly end! New friends, new teachers, new environment, new class.... and god knows what! Walking through the gate with all the eyes staring at me was almost embarrassing...but I didn't let that get the best of me even if it was VERY hard to ignore. Oh well! It surely does happen to all of us at some point in our life! My college life started with a short presentation and a long lecture. Surprisingly, the hour-and-a-half long lecture was not so boring. Finally, the college administration officially welcomed us to their college and told that they were proud to have us! (sighs) Anyways, we didn't study today at all. Mainl...

I had to live without my phone for 10 days and it didn't go well.

Few months after I bought a phone, the worst thing that could happen to a person that bought a new phone happened to me. My phone started to dysfunction. My brand new phone, that I was paying way more than I could afford, was having issues. And like any normal person, I too went through the 5 stages of grief. I pretended like I did not see that my apps were crashing and my phone was restarting randomly. I would just put my phone face down when that happened because I did not want to deal with it (kids, don't try this at home). And then I levelled up to the next stage. My phone would restart exactly when I was trying to send an important text, make an important call...or take a picture, or a million, of a beautiful sunset and boy, did that piss me off. I tried to look up solutions online but I couldn't find any that worked for me. Then I started bargaining. Is my phone shutting down and starting up on its own, which takes a total of 20 secs, really that big of a deal? I felt li...

Purple.

it all began one august day as the sky bled into hues of purple, a coy smile from me, some words spoken in the dark from you and with the silent heat of our barely there touches, the yearning turned to longing. and come september, the longing will turn to love. and all it will take is an epiphany, an unintelligible distant symphony, a moment of chance miracle and you will know, that answers were never outside but within. you’d expect it to be earth shattering but it is a mere revelation it’s a switch you flick in your own mind that surrenders your soul. no matter what other say, it was a choice then and it will continue to remain so.

The Day I.....

My heart was still fluttering and it was only aggravating the situation further. It meant I still hadn't died, didn't it? But Why ? In the recent times, everybody has the day they’d die tattooed on their arm immediately after birth. It probably makes for a more sustainable living as people know their days are numbered so nobody does anything stupid at all. When someone is born, the medics check the Total Health Factor (THF) of the baby and calculate the day to which that person could live with no health-related obligations. People have THF ranging from 10 to even 35 years. People having THF lower than 10 are sent away, nobody except the government knows where. My THF is 16. And the date tattooed on my arm is 20th November 2311. Today. My providers had once told me about a time when death was uncertain. People lost the value of living because at one point everyone was just surviving for the sake of it. And the other major problem of that time was pe...

Our story :)

Hey people! So, this story is here because of the special request from a few special people (Apee Regmi and Aayushma Khadka and so on..).I wrote this story some 2 years ago on Valentines day....so it revolves around the same thing. When people read this story they ALWAYS ask me if it happened for real and I say 'no'. It would be fun to have a guy like him with me but NO. This story is NOT... I'll say it one more time... It is NOT based on my experience so you can stop whatever you are planning on questioning me based on the story. Hope I'm clear about this. (sighs) So here goes the story: Young people are very excited as V-day turns up. Some are happy while others are anxious. on 2005 V-day, I also belonged to the anxious group because I was going to ask someone out on that very day, for the very first time in my life. I am Samaira. I normally didn’t believe in love but after meeting him the feeling isn’t peculiar anymore. Aryan made me believe in love, in...

Rust & stardust

There's not much to say about love beyond what has already been said But in the past, every time we fell apart I always used to find new ways To bleed on paper about you. Yet, this time has been different Because the words I spit out about you now don't make any sense Just like how we fell apart doesn't make any sense. Every time I sat down to write this, My thoughts always went back to that one time When you said I'd never be able to write anything without you in it, ever again. I laughed and rolled my eyes at you then But I knew you were right Even during the long stretches of radio silence between us, my words always seemed to find their way back to you. You were sometimes the hero in my stories Sometimes the villain And yet, you were there Car...

How I Met Your Mother vs Friends

Photo:Pinterest I watched How I Met Your Mother for the first time when I was in 7 th grade. At that time, the jokes most likely went right over my head and I probably didn’t understand the context to many things but still something about Ted Mosby resonated with me, even then. I have always struggled with keeping my love in check like him which has led to various failings throughout the years but Ted’s always had my back by being one step ahead. For these reasons and more, I whole-heartedly love the show. On the other hand, I watched F.R.I.E.N.D.S. a couple years later and thought it was mostly nice. I’d all but forgotten about it until last year when, for some reason, everyone started talking about it. I, by no means, thought it was a bad show but I couldn’t fathom why everyone liked it so much . People started labelling it superior to HIMYM which didn’t sit well with me. So I decided to re-watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S to gain perspective which led me to the conclusio...

...I speak my mind =)