(Un)Certainty

Photo: Tumblr.com

As a teenager, I was always so opinionated about things around me. Things were either positive or negative, something I loved or something I hated. Black or White. I knew what I wanted in Life. I knew when I wanted it and how I wanted it.

Fast forward a couple years to being almost 21, I seem to have loosened my grasp on everything I thought I knew. I find myself questioning everything which almost always results in me concluding that I don't know anything at all. Do I really want to be in a relationship? Do I really want to follow that career path? Do I really want to associate with people that I find myself with right now? The questions are never ending.

There are no discernible lines differentiating anything anymore.

No black or white- only a million hues of grey.

Comments

Our story :)

Hey people! So, this story is here because of the special request from a few special people (Apee Regmi and Aayushma Khadka and so on..).I wrote this story some 2 years ago on Valentines day....so it revolves around the same thing. When people read this story they ALWAYS ask me if it happened for real and I say 'no'. It would be fun to have a guy like him with me but NO. This story is NOT... I'll say it one more time... It is NOT based on my experience so you can stop whatever you are planning on questioning me based on the story. Hope I'm clear about this. (sighs) So here goes the story: Young people are very excited as V-day turns up. Some are happy while others are anxious. on 2005 V-day, I also belonged to the anxious group because I was going to ask someone out on that very day, for the very first time in my life. I am Samaira. I normally didn’t believe in love but after meeting him the feeling isn’t peculiar anymore. Aryan made me believe in love, in...

Rust & stardust

There's not much to say about love beyond what has already been said But in the past, every time we fell apart I always used to find new ways To bleed on paper about you. Yet, this time has been different Because the words I spit out about you now don't make any sense Just like how we fell apart doesn't make any sense. Every time I sat down to write this, My thoughts always went back to that one time When you said I'd never be able to write anything without you in it, ever again. I laughed and rolled my eyes at you then But I knew you were right Even during the long stretches of radio silence between us, my words always seemed to find their way back to you. You were sometimes the hero in my stories Sometimes the villain And yet, you were there Car...

Reminiscence

My jar of memories :-) Ever since I was little, I've had this affinity with Roses. I don't know if it's the overlapping petals, the sweet sensational smell or the fact that that level of beauty can blossom midst the nastiest of thorns. Or maybe its the whole package. It might be the romantic in me showing its colors, but gifting someone Roses always felt like the right thing to do. And in return, receiving Roses still feels like the best thing ever. Years passed, friends broke away and lovers drifted yet I always saved the roses- pressed and dried. A sane person would throw away the memories of people who don't matter anymore. However, I like to save it because no matter what happened afterwards, that moment is a happy memory. And happy memories are like bottles of wine in a way. As our brain has a way of blurring out negatives, moments become sweeter the farther down you travel in time. In a way, my jar of memories (as I like to call it) provides me ge...

The Day I.....

My heart was still fluttering and it was only aggravating the situation further. It meant I still hadn't died, didn't it? But Why ? In the recent times, everybody has the day they’d die tattooed on their arm immediately after birth. It probably makes for a more sustainable living as people know their days are numbered so nobody does anything stupid at all. When someone is born, the medics check the Total Health Factor (THF) of the baby and calculate the day to which that person could live with no health-related obligations. People have THF ranging from 10 to even 35 years. People having THF lower than 10 are sent away, nobody except the government knows where. My THF is 16. And the date tattooed on my arm is 20th November 2311. Today. My providers had once told me about a time when death was uncertain. People lost the value of living because at one point everyone was just surviving for the sake of it. And the other major problem of that time was pe...

I know I can count on you :)

Hey good people!! Its been long since I updated my blog. But you know,when I don't feel 'ít', I just can't write anything! lol I know that I keep telling this but every bit of the next sentence is true. I'm just crazy like that! :P Okay, so today's post is certainly not about my stupidity.(You had probably guessed that considering the large heading but I wanted to mention it anyways..lol) The post right here is about the people who accept my tantrums, silliness, mood swings and most importantly my 'short-temperedness' with ease ( I do 'chill out' after a short while even if I get angry VERY fast.. but lord bless those people!! It can be hard at times :P ) . This post is all about the people who make my life great. Yes,Friends are what i'm talking about...even if you didn't guess it already regarding the cheesy lines :P Today happens to be THE friendship day , so, I thought what better day could I pick to write about th...

(un)finished business

By Vincent van Gogh - Starry Night Over the Rhone You were a ship passing by my ship during a sunset. Ours was a chance encounter, so it was never about staying close forever Nor was it about helping each other traverse the tides together. We had both set sail to reach far away lands from different ends of the earth With our journeys laid out in front of us. But when we met amidst the vastness of the sea It was difficult not to believe that something about our closeness made sense. There was comfort and ease in existing together, A never before felt sense of synchronicity, That all was unfolding as it should. I was the first to say goodbye though, Not because I didn't want you, But because I wanted you too much and I knew we weren't on the same page. But why is it that even if I was the reason we sail separately today, I find myself thinking about you more frequently than I care to admit. Sometimes, memories of you feel like a fervent fev...

21

Being in love is magical. In its truest moment, it takes over your entire being. It's inexplicable yet it will be all that you want to talk about. It will feel like a breath of fresh air after you've been stuck under water for too long. No matter how I put it, it'll sound like a bunch of clichés strung together. Such is love. However, it won't always be the case of bed of roses and happy ever afters. After you've come up for air a few times, the water current will pull you down leaving you questioning if the few gulps of air somehow made your situation infinitely worse. Now you're addicted to the air, but he's left long ago. What do you do now? When you're a teenager, you're made to chase romantic fantasies and happy ever afters. But lets face it: Love is as hard to pull off as it is fulfilling. It takes too much of you when it doesn't work out. And despite having chased all-consuming love for some time in the recent past, somewhere al...

Love & Hate

PC: Elitedaily.com Silence woke her. As she laid on the floor, saliva drooping from her mouth, she realized it had gotten darker. She must have passed out for an hour or so. She sub-consciously touched her forehead. There was no blood this time but she knew it would bruise. The glass had hit her pretty hard, after all. Hits, Bruises and cover-ups were just another day in this household. As she got bearings of the time and place, she started to look around. Few yards away in the next room, she saw a heap of limbs passed out on the floor. Upon closer inspection, she could smell the concoction of alcohol, vomit and sweat. The view was jarring but she wasn't repulsed. The emotion that overcame her was pity. Pity at the man who was her husband. Pity at the man she once loved. As she looked back, she didn't know where exactly she she went wrong with her life. Born to a privileged family, she was smart and beautiful. No wonder, she had caught an athlete's eye. He was pre...

The little things that matter :)

We people take too many things for granted in life. We are never satisfied with the things we already have in our possession. Don't get me wrong, when I say things, I don't only mean the superficial things like house, car, dresses blah blah.... I'm using here it in the simplest sense. So that includes the good times, the bad times and all the the other things in life that you can think of at this very instant! Because even the worst things have some positive effect on us....... But us not knowing the worth of those moments is a completely different story... :P We are always very busy complaining about the things that have gone wrong or the things which we feel are 'well below the mark'. Why cant we just shut up, sit down and enjoy the awesomeness around us? Because no matter how miserable we feel our life is there's always this other person who would love to have our life , like any day..! When I say it out loud it does seem intriguing, doesn't it...

Sensations

PC: lovethispic.com He isn't cute. Cute doesn't even begin to describe half the person that he is. Cute is momentary, flimsy. And he is the furthest from flimsy as one can get. He is beautiful. His voice is beautiful, his laugh is beautiful and the way he looks at me, he makes me feel like I'm the most beautiful girl he's ever laid his eyes upon. He is a blazing flame. And I am but a mere moth. I'll get burnt, I know it. He doesn't promise me otherwise, either. Deciding it will be worth it has made all the difference. I could say I love him, but those three words can never justify the kaleidoscope of sensations I feel when I'm with him. He is all colors in one, at full brightness.

...I speak my mind =)