My Solace

My mom had been pestering me to clean my room since ages and there was always something that I used against her to put it off. Yeah, I am no clean freak ...... but my mom is. I am not all up for untidy rooms but no matter how often I put everything in place, somehow a day after everything gets messed up again. So I don't bother much. This morning I finally succumbed to my mom's pleas and decided to do it anyway.

I started with my study table as it needed the most immediate attention. And as soon as I got started, I unknowingly rummaged through old notebooks and rough copies. On the last page of EVERY single notebook, there were those scribbles of short poems and extracts of how my day was going on. It got me smiling and a sort of ecstasy spread through my veins. I had always been the kind of person who expressed her feelings through words and .... I haven’t changed one bit. :)

The thing with me is - I don't speak much. I was never the person with the largest group of friends and I feel its better this way. I don't revel in having a hundred people around me at all times, I revel in having a handful people who'd be to hell with me if I asked them to come with me. That's the way I have been all the way. The point here is that, I don't enjoy talking to people about my problems so I write.

I write when I feel lonely, I write when I'm sad, I write when I'm happy, I write when I'm bored in class, I write when I can't fall asleep..... I write ALL THE TIME. It may sound a tad bit dramatic but writing about things does give me hope. It strengths me; boosts me up to tackle the unknown, the inevitable. I don't know how all this works but somehow putting everything you're feeling on a paper makes it all alright. It's kind of like putting back the missing piece of puzzle onto its place. When I write about it, I feel the chasm diminishing. It sounds insane when I put it this way but it is no coincidence that this blog is named 'I speak my mind'. It's the way things are in my life, it's how I roll.

I have written something for every heartbreak, every fight with a friend, every falling apart......every time I couldn't smile at all. And I can proudly say that writing about it has always made me feel all the more better- a staggering 100% success rate.

It's because words are my hideaway. It's the vision that makes me see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's my audacity of reverie. It's the one thing that makes me see things brightly. And when I write, I don't do it for anyone but me. It's my solace. I find solace in words. :)

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...I speak my mind =)