Someone like you...

When someone asks my opinion about love , words fail me. I have watched countless movies and read so many books based on that particular feeling but if I really think about it, have no clue what it's like. I have been in love but never actually felt it from the person I wanted to. Don't know what it feels like when all the love you pour is sent back to you because you deserve it. Some people have claimed to love me but those were not the people I wanted to hear those words from. The heart wants what the heart wants. Period.

I fell in love at a pretty young age. Also, I have had the most cliched love story the human kind will ever know- falling in love with your best friend. In between the copy borrowing and taking out time to glance at him in the class, the missing-you emails during the vacation and waiting around the corridor to say the final goodbye before you leave for home at the end of everyday, being torn apart between wanting to call him every evening and not doing so..... I fell in love with every bit of him. The way he did his hair, the smell of his cologne every time he came closer, the few seconds of eye contact... everything that had anything to do with him became the part of my life. He was everything I wished for when I got any chance to wish for something. He was the reason I kept my eyes on the night sky for the fallen star.

There were so many times when I couldn't sleep when I thought of all the things we were and everything we could be. Thinking of seeing him in the morning would flush my face with a tint of pink and the sole reason I checked my facebook or the e-mail was to find his name there. Only the thoughts of him too, could do pretty magical things to me.

We had been best friends for many years. We used to share the same interests, had almost the same sentiments but the only thing that changed was me. I had fallen in love with him, to extend that I could not even fathom losing him to some girl but ...I was pretty much the same person to him. The same person I had been to him all those years.

Things didn't work out between us somehow but in my mind I'd always thought that we clicked perfectly. The first cut is the deepest sings Sheryl Crowe and so it was. I've had my rebounds, forced myself to fall in love with some other guys just so I could take my mind off of him but in the end nothing worked. I guess I'll have to live with the feeling of not knowing what we'd be like if we were together, for the rest of my life. Nowadays, I like to think that maybe I got over him.. just maybe. His thoughts still haunt me time and again and I'd like to think that it's because he was my first love.

Somewhere in all this mess, Adele gives me hope. Maybe I will find someone like him someday who will actually return all the love he receives from me....... It's something I'll keep on wishing till the end.
" Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for youDon't forget me, I begged, I remember you saidSometimes it lasts in love sometimes it hurts instead"

Comments

The little things that matter :)

We people take too many things for granted in life. We are never satisfied with the things we already have in our possession. Don't get me wrong, when I say things, I don't only mean the superficial things like house, car, dresses blah blah.... I'm using here it in the simplest sense. So that includes the good times, the bad times and all the the other things in life that you can think of at this very instant! Because even the worst things have some positive effect on us....... But us not knowing the worth of those moments is a completely different story... :P We are always very busy complaining about the things that have gone wrong or the things which we feel are 'well below the mark'. Why cant we just shut up, sit down and enjoy the awesomeness around us? Because no matter how miserable we feel our life is there's always this other person who would love to have our life , like any day..! When I say it out loud it does seem intriguing, doesn't it...

Sensations

PC: lovethispic.com He isn't cute. Cute doesn't even begin to describe half the person that he is. Cute is momentary, flimsy. And he is the furthest from flimsy as one can get. He is beautiful. His voice is beautiful, his laugh is beautiful and the way he looks at me, he makes me feel like I'm the most beautiful girl he's ever laid his eyes upon. He is a blazing flame. And I am but a mere moth. I'll get burnt, I know it. He doesn't promise me otherwise, either. Deciding it will be worth it has made all the difference. I could say I love him, but those three words can never justify the kaleidoscope of sensations I feel when I'm with him. He is all colors in one, at full brightness.

I Want It No More !!

Hey lovely people ! Ah... It feels so good to be updating my blog after such a long time. It was not like I was busy or something..... i just could think of anything to blabber about at all . Pretty strange, right ? haha Anyways, the writer me is back , I think :P lol. *enough of the drama now* As the picture above may have suggested , the post today is about a very common human trait- Being judgmental. I was a very judgmental person. I judged and grouped people so fast and involuntarily, that I stunned myself (YES, this really happened !!!) But now I'm slowly trying to outgrow it. I should have realized that I had to get rid of this nature of mine ages ago but oh well! I am a late bloomer and that's not something I can help myself with. I didn't even think I had this problem until a while ago until all of this came daunting on me. All this happened on a social networking website, facebook of course :P There is this group there wher...

Love & Hate

PC: Elitedaily.com Silence woke her. As she laid on the floor, saliva drooping from her mouth, she realized it had gotten darker. She must have passed out for an hour or so. She sub-consciously touched her forehead. There was no blood this time but she knew it would bruise. The glass had hit her pretty hard, after all. Hits, Bruises and cover-ups were just another day in this household. As she got bearings of the time and place, she started to look around. Few yards away in the next room, she saw a heap of limbs passed out on the floor. Upon closer inspection, she could smell the concoction of alcohol, vomit and sweat. The view was jarring but she wasn't repulsed. The emotion that overcame her was pity. Pity at the man who was her husband. Pity at the man she once loved. As she looked back, she didn't know where exactly she she went wrong with her life. Born to a privileged family, she was smart and beautiful. No wonder, she had caught an athlete's eye. He was pre...

On moving 6629km alone away from home

It was a fresh start, one that I needed desperately. Applications and documentation had taken so much of my time and sucked so much of my energy, I don't think I quite comprehended what the move was going to entail. While I was open to changes, I don't think I was aware of how much transformation across all aspects of life it would take to acclimatise myself to my new reality. I was just happy for a fresh start. Nothing else mattered. But turns out, getting on the plane is the easiest step in all of this. The amount of transformation I've gone through and learning I've done in the past couple months is truly insane, to say the least. Recently, a friend back home asked me how I was doing living alone and I thought about it. Honestly, it hasn't been all good or all bad, but the important thing has been rooting and balancing myself despite it all. Not sure if anything I've written will be groundbreaking or something that hasn't been already said 7 million time...

Through it all....

I've been through good times And also been through the bad Have laughed so hard that I fell from a chair But also experienced the falling apart Good times bring joys and ecstasies Tough times bring hard luck only Tribulations and sorrow break us apart But the fun times make it worth while Had there not been the times we cried so hard We’d not know the meaning of happiness We’d never find out what care and love is making our life just the ordinary Some situations are not so easy But the solving part makes it just right The day when good overcomes the ugly Life feels just right :)

thank god it's friday

I don’t know if it’s just me or time seems to be moving a lot faster these days. I simply refuse to believe that it’s been 3 weeks since I joined my new job. And it’s end of March already? No fking way. I haven’t written for a big audience in a long time. If you know me, you know that I have always loved writing but over the past year, life caught up with me. I don’t know if mid 20s for everyone is a whirlwind or if it’s because I moved to a new country or because I was finishing up my Uni, working 4 days a week at my unpaid internship and 20 hours/week nightshift at the job that paid for my life all at the same time, everything was always too much. Sorry to my friends and family that I haven’t called in a while but calling takes too much effort. It’s my least favourite method of communication. But know that I miss you and I love you. Life isn’t bad at all, just a lot. I did try to start writing again in the past year and a half. But everything I wrote was stupid. I didn’t e...

I know I can count on you :)

Hey good people!! Its been long since I updated my blog. But you know,when I don't feel 'ít', I just can't write anything! lol I know that I keep telling this but every bit of the next sentence is true. I'm just crazy like that! :P Okay, so today's post is certainly not about my stupidity.(You had probably guessed that considering the large heading but I wanted to mention it anyways..lol) The post right here is about the people who accept my tantrums, silliness, mood swings and most importantly my 'short-temperedness' with ease ( I do 'chill out' after a short while even if I get angry VERY fast.. but lord bless those people!! It can be hard at times :P ) . This post is all about the people who make my life great. Yes,Friends are what i'm talking about...even if you didn't guess it already regarding the cheesy lines :P Today happens to be THE friendship day , so, I thought what better day could I pick to write about th...

Forever, Always . . . Infinity

There are two kinds of hurt. One is immediate, earth-shattering You wail, scream Weep for the person beyond measure When the self-pity ends, You pick yourself up, Oneday. Other one is slow and steady Creeping up on you when you least expect it. And when it arrives, It leaves back nothing in it's wake. Enveloping you in darkness It neither has an end nor a beginning Only a constant rhythm of hurt flowing through your veins. I don't know which is worse.

21

Being in love is magical. In its truest moment, it takes over your entire being. It's inexplicable yet it will be all that you want to talk about. It will feel like a breath of fresh air after you've been stuck under water for too long. No matter how I put it, it'll sound like a bunch of clichés strung together. Such is love. However, it won't always be the case of bed of roses and happy ever afters. After you've come up for air a few times, the water current will pull you down leaving you questioning if the few gulps of air somehow made your situation infinitely worse. Now you're addicted to the air, but he's left long ago. What do you do now? When you're a teenager, you're made to chase romantic fantasies and happy ever afters. But lets face it: Love is as hard to pull off as it is fulfilling. It takes too much of you when it doesn't work out. And despite having chased all-consuming love for some time in the recent past, somewhere al...

...I speak my mind =)