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Being in love is magical. In its truest moment, it takes over your entire being. It's inexplicable yet it will be all that you want to talk about. It will feel like a breath of fresh air after you've been stuck under water for too long. No matter how I put it, it'll sound like a bunch of clichés strung together. Such is love.

However, it won't always be the case of bed of roses and happy ever afters. After you've come up for air a few times, the water current will pull you down leaving you questioning if the few gulps of air somehow made your situation infinitely worse. Now you're addicted to the air, but he's left long ago. What do you do now?

When you're a teenager, you're made to chase romantic fantasies and happy ever afters. But lets face it: Love is as hard to pull off as it is fulfilling. It takes too much of you when it doesn't work out. And despite having chased all-consuming love for some time in the recent past, somewhere along the way I've changed.

As of today, I'm 21 years and 136 days old. And as much as I'm all for meeting the mythical "the one", let's face it, I'm too young. I'm too young for someone to become my all, already. There's too much learning to do, the kind of learning that is only possible in close proximity of another human, before I'm left tending to one person.

And most importantly, people spend their entire life chasing things for other people, or well, other people. How often are you 21 when you can get as selfish as you can, free to focus on your dreams and fantasies and no one else's. Take a few detours, watch sunsets in solitude, be alone with your thoughts because thats how you'll know you. And you gotta admit, thats some pretty crucial info to have on yourself going forward in life.

I'm sure finding love would be nice.

Just not today.

Comments

Sensations

PC: lovethispic.com He isn't cute. Cute doesn't even begin to describe half the person that he is. Cute is momentary, flimsy. And he is the furthest from flimsy as one can get. He is beautiful. His voice is beautiful, his laugh is beautiful and the way he looks at me, he makes me feel like I'm the most beautiful girl he's ever laid his eyes upon. He is a blazing flame. And I am but a mere moth. I'll get burnt, I know it. He doesn't promise me otherwise, either. Deciding it will be worth it has made all the difference. I could say I love him, but those three words can never justify the kaleidoscope of sensations I feel when I'm with him. He is all colors in one, at full brightness.

20 Things To Do Before 20

This post is a little different than the posts I usually do and it's "fun-er" than the rest of them too. I still have a year or two before I hit the twenties and that's where things get interesting. Teenage is probably going to be the most interesting part of our lives so I wanted to make a bucket list to make sure that this phase ceases in its full glory. So, this is my take on 20 things to do before 20 . Hope you enjoy going through it ! :) 20. Bunking classes 19. Reading a good book and crying 18. Not studying for an exam but still acing it 17. Having a "love at first sight" moment 16. Watching a TV series until you get sick....literally 15. Trying a food you can't pronounce 14. Having at least 20 crushes 13. Talking to someone through the night till dawn 12. Going for shopping... alone! 11. Watching back-to-back movie at a cinema hall 10. Dating someone who isn't your type 9. Going to a dance party 8. Drunk dial...

Love & Hate

PC: Elitedaily.com Silence woke her. As she laid on the floor, saliva drooping from her mouth, she realized it had gotten darker. She must have passed out for an hour or so. She sub-consciously touched her forehead. There was no blood this time but she knew it would bruise. The glass had hit her pretty hard, after all. Hits, Bruises and cover-ups were just another day in this household. As she got bearings of the time and place, she started to look around. Few yards away in the next room, she saw a heap of limbs passed out on the floor. Upon closer inspection, she could smell the concoction of alcohol, vomit and sweat. The view was jarring but she wasn't repulsed. The emotion that overcame her was pity. Pity at the man who was her husband. Pity at the man she once loved. As she looked back, she didn't know where exactly she she went wrong with her life. Born to a privileged family, she was smart and beautiful. No wonder, she had caught an athlete's eye. He was pre...

Blank Canvas

Clarissa stared at the blank Canvas. It was the umpteenth time she had tried drawing that day and every time she had failed miserably. Heaps of scrunched white paper laid beneath her feet but even so, she wasn't done with the assignment yet. Art class that afternoon had been immensely enlightening. "Art comes from you heart and not your head. It unfolds the mystery of your sub-conscious. You may pretend things to be otherwise, but always remember that a piece of art is the window to your soul. It never lies", he'd said. And She had nodded, to herself more than anyone else. At the end of the class he had told everyone to draw something that made them smile, without reason and in the most turbulent of times. The pencil she'd been holding fell from her grasp and she bounced back from her reverie. She brainstormed again and again. She picked up the pencil and thought of various ways it could go. What was the thing she lived for ? She thought of the place sh...

The Day I.....

My heart was still fluttering and it was only aggravating the situation further. It meant I still hadn't died, didn't it? But Why ? In the recent times, everybody has the day they’d die tattooed on their arm immediately after birth. It probably makes for a more sustainable living as people know their days are numbered so nobody does anything stupid at all. When someone is born, the medics check the Total Health Factor (THF) of the baby and calculate the day to which that person could live with no health-related obligations. People have THF ranging from 10 to even 35 years. People having THF lower than 10 are sent away, nobody except the government knows where. My THF is 16. And the date tattooed on my arm is 20th November 2311. Today. My providers had once told me about a time when death was uncertain. People lost the value of living because at one point everyone was just surviving for the sake of it. And the other major problem of that time was pe...

A Fatal Combination

I kept looking for answers in you Little did I know, You were the question And separation was all the answer I ever needed. When we loved, we'd turn the entire world rosy, shouting our love for each other from literal rooftops. Other days, the love would just vanish making me question the reality of those feelings. Sometimes, we'd talk through the night and only stop when dawn would knock on our respective window panes. Other times, we'd go multiple days without so much of a hello. Somedays, you'd have your hands all over me and I'd be writhing under your touch. Other days, you wouldn't so much as hold my hand. We were always too much and never enough. A fatal combination.

Why is Game of Thrones so popular?

I was a little late to the game of thrones party as I only started watching it after it had aired its fourth season. After constant peer pressure and years of blatant disregard of pop culture, I finally succumbed to the worldwide phenomenon that is game of thrones and how. After over two years of constantly speculating theories and waiting for the plot to move forward for the most part of the year, it’s safe to say that the seven gods have charmed me. What makes it so irresistible? Politics and Power play Politics is one of the major themes of the series. Every step taken is a step taken towards being more powerful than before. And power doesn’t come easy. Gruesome killings, murder, fraudulence, mind games come to people as easy as breathing. Where ostensibly good characters don’t make it even a few episodes whereas bad ones just keep multiplying their forces. You can never fully say who has the upper hand because power keeps radically shifting. And because of its likeliness...

Turning Time

PC: thereadingroom.com [Published as 'There and back again' on 'The Kathmandu Post' on 24th July, 2016] As he entered the strange world, the air immediately got crisper, cooler. The fact that he had expected it didn't change how it affected him every time. The hair down his spine stood straight and he grabbed onto his jacket a little tighter. He was already out of place with his pair of jeans and blue button-down. His only hope was that the jacket shielded him against the oddity. Being transported to the new timeline was always strange. And the fact that he was always transported to the same date, July 28, 1914 even stranger. As he shuffled out the alley, he knew exactly what to expect. Just like the other times, a woman came charging down the street with a kid. He always narrowly missed stumbling into them. So today, he made a point to take a pause before entering the street. He was learning, despite the fact that he didn’t know why or how he got sent to t...

The #Selfie Phenomenon

If you hadn't been visiting some another planet in the recent times, you are no newbie to the world of Sellfies. And at one point or another you have fallen for the selfie-trap, for the lack of a better word. Let's face it, we are pretty much obsessed with it...Well, most of us anyway. Also, as of today,there are over 23 million photos with the hashtag "#selfie" and a whopping 51 million with the hashtag "me" on Instagram. What makes it so popular? I don't precisely remember taking my first selfie but I do know that it was not too long ago. And ever since I laid my hands on the phone with a front-facing camera, me taking a selfie has been all the more frequent. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that it's literally the easiest way to take a picture of yourself: You just have to unlock the phone screen, tap the camera icon, tilt your head or the phone on a flattering angle and then tap the capture button (THAT easy!) against the traditi...

thank god it's friday

I don’t know if it’s just me or time seems to be moving a lot faster these days. I simply refuse to believe that it’s been 3 weeks since I joined my new job. And it’s end of March already? No fking way. I haven’t written for a big audience in a long time. If you know me, you know that I have always loved writing but over the past year, life caught up with me. I don’t know if mid 20s for everyone is a whirlwind or if it’s because I moved to a new country or because I was finishing up my Uni, working 4 days a week at my unpaid internship and 20 hours/week nightshift at the job that paid for my life all at the same time, everything was always too much. Sorry to my friends and family that I haven’t called in a while but calling takes too much effort. It’s my least favourite method of communication. But know that I miss you and I love you. Life isn’t bad at all, just a lot. I did try to start writing again in the past year and a half. But everything I wrote was stupid. I didn’t e...

...I speak my mind =)

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