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Being in love is magical. In its truest moment, it takes over your entire being. It's inexplicable yet it will be all that you want to talk about. It will feel like a breath of fresh air after you've been stuck under water for too long. No matter how I put it, it'll sound like a bunch of clichés strung together. Such is love.

However, it won't always be the case of bed of roses and happy ever afters. After you've come up for air a few times, the water current will pull you down leaving you questioning if the few gulps of air somehow made your situation infinitely worse. Now you're addicted to the air, but he's left long ago. What do you do now?

When you're a teenager, you're made to chase romantic fantasies and happy ever afters. But lets face it: Love is as hard to pull off as it is fulfilling. It takes too much of you when it doesn't work out. And despite having chased all-consuming love for some time in the recent past, somewhere along the way I've changed.

As of today, I'm 21 years and 136 days old. And as much as I'm all for meeting the mythical "the one", let's face it, I'm too young. I'm too young for someone to become my all, already. There's too much learning to do, the kind of learning that is only possible in close proximity of another human, before I'm left tending to one person.

And most importantly, people spend their entire life chasing things for other people, or well, other people. How often are you 21 when you can get as selfish as you can, free to focus on your dreams and fantasies and no one else's. Take a few detours, watch sunsets in solitude, be alone with your thoughts because thats how you'll know you. And you gotta admit, thats some pretty crucial info to have on yourself going forward in life.

I'm sure finding love would be nice.

Just not today.

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(un)finished business

By Vincent van Gogh - Starry Night Over the Rhone You were a ship passing by my ship during a sunset. Ours was a chance encounter, so it was never about staying close forever Nor was it about helping each other traverse the tides together. We had both set sail to reach far away lands from different ends of the earth With our journeys laid out in front of us. But when we met amidst the vastness of the sea It was difficult not to believe that something about our closeness made sense. There was comfort and ease in existing together, A never before felt sense of synchronicity, That all was unfolding as it should. I was the first to say goodbye though, Not because I didn't want you, But because I wanted you too much and I knew we weren't on the same page. But why is it that even if I was the reason we sail separately today, I find myself thinking about you more frequently than I care to admit. Sometimes, memories of you feel like a fervent fev...

I Want It No More !!

Hey lovely people ! Ah... It feels so good to be updating my blog after such a long time. It was not like I was busy or something..... i just could think of anything to blabber about at all . Pretty strange, right ? haha Anyways, the writer me is back , I think :P lol. *enough of the drama now* As the picture above may have suggested , the post today is about a very common human trait- Being judgmental. I was a very judgmental person. I judged and grouped people so fast and involuntarily, that I stunned myself (YES, this really happened !!!) But now I'm slowly trying to outgrow it. I should have realized that I had to get rid of this nature of mine ages ago but oh well! I am a late bloomer and that's not something I can help myself with. I didn't even think I had this problem until a while ago until all of this came daunting on me. All this happened on a social networking website, facebook of course :P There is this group there wher...

thank god it's friday

I don’t know if it’s just me or time seems to be moving a lot faster these days. I simply refuse to believe that it’s been 3 weeks since I joined my new job. And it’s end of March already? No fking way. I haven’t written for a big audience in a long time. If you know me, you know that I have always loved writing but over the past year, life caught up with me. I don’t know if mid 20s for everyone is a whirlwind or if it’s because I moved to a new country or because I was finishing up my Uni, working 4 days a week at my unpaid internship and 20 hours/week nightshift at the job that paid for my life all at the same time, everything was always too much. Sorry to my friends and family that I haven’t called in a while but calling takes too much effort. It’s my least favourite method of communication. But know that I miss you and I love you. Life isn’t bad at all, just a lot. I did try to start writing again in the past year and a half. But everything I wrote was stupid. I didn’t e...

Rust & stardust

There's not much to say about love beyond what has already been said But in the past, every time we fell apart I always used to find new ways To bleed on paper about you. Yet, this time has been different Because the words I spit out about you now don't make any sense Just like how we fell apart doesn't make any sense. Every time I sat down to write this, My thoughts always went back to that one time When you said I'd never be able to write anything without you in it, ever again. I laughed and rolled my eyes at you then But I knew you were right Even during the long stretches of radio silence between us, my words always seemed to find their way back to you. You were sometimes the hero in my stories Sometimes the villain And yet, you were there Car...

Winter Solstice

Photo credit: https://creativelyuncorked.com As we get drunk on that year regret and joy swirl together, in a concoction bitter and sweet, raging poison that I devour quickly. Sitting across from me you look at me with those eyes an ember simmering quietly, and once again I’m taken back to your year worth of ‘love you’s and my goodbyes that I never really got to say. I should be mad at you but i look at you now and i just can’t resist you. But this time, i don’t overlook the truth i can’t mistake the unabashed joy in your smile when you say her name, anymore. Every syllable you utter makes my heart skip a beat in all the wrong ways so I try to drown the suffocation with liquid delusion but I fail and you see through me you always saw right through me. I feel an overwhelming sense of shame right then how does someone see right through you but still fail to love you how?

Daydream

You’re like a feverish daydream, Floating in and out of my life endlessly, Because all your arrivals Leave me in a daze And with my heart relentlessly thudding against my chest, My mind racing against time itself Relapsing into a cacophony of emotions Rehashing our memories over and over Until I can't think straight. In your wake, I’m always left wondering- Are you even real? Or are you just a figment of my subconscious? Chiding me time and again, About how impassioned my life can truly be But i s n’ t. 2:22 moonlight, i dream of you endlessly drowning in reverie, waiting for morning

How it all started :)

As I start my very own blog from today.... I'd want to commence by stating how I started writing stuff ...have fun reading, even though, it's my very first piece of write-up here...And I'd love it if you comment on how it went. Thank you :) Writing is not something that I started doing from a very young age and yet I just love how it makes me feel every time I do it. As of now, It has spread inside of me as a poison because even if I try to fall out of this habit now, I just simply can't! It all started out some 5 years ago when my very first piece of writing was published in 'The Himalayan Times', in the 'Schoolpost' section, for the very first time. The encouragement and appreciation I got at that moment made me want to try my hand at this....and now I am what I am today all because of the feeling of being appreciated It was not that I started to write out-of-the-blue. Since a very young age, my father used to take me out to...

...I speak my mind =)

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