See You Again

Painting by: Leonid Afremov 

It was the last night of my little trip. Despite being borderline apprehensive about going to Pokhara alone, the 4-day vacation had felt very...freeing. I had left all my electronic devices back home. No schedule to follow, No places to be, no calls to answer...it was bliss. I was anxious about getting back home because I knew a desk full of papers were awaiting my arrival at work. I gulped down the remaining beer in my mug. I motioned to the bartender to bring me another one. My plan for the night was to drink as much as I could keep down without feeling sick. Well, as far as an unplanned plan could go.

I looked around the bar. It was buzzing with enthusiasm. At 8 pm on a Friday night, I imagined what I must look like to the world. A guy in his mid 20s sitting alone at a bar. But, I was having fun. Many people don't understand it but solitude isn't all that bad that people make it out to be.

I was feeling slightly hazy, when a girl approached the seat next to mine. I looked at her and my heart skipped a beat. I don't know if it was the multiple shots of tequila, her messy hair or the way she looked in that orange sundress, but,  

"Woah, you're gorgeous" slipped my tongue. 

Embarrassed, I turned my head away when I realized a second later what I had done. But she just laughed and said a joyful little "Thank you". It might be the alcohol but she had the most wonderful voice I'd ever heard. Most definitely the alcohol, because no one deserved to be that perfect. 

She ordered a beer as well and looked at me.

"Aren't you too young to be drinking alone on a Friday night? " she asked. 

I looked at her again. She didn't look any older than I was. "Well, aren't you? Or are you waiting for your boyfriend? " I mentally cringed. Ahhh classic guy move. Why did I have to ask her about the boyfriend? 

"Fair point. No boyfriend on the horizon, or friends for that matter...for the night.... That was a little too much information. Hoping you aren't a serial killer who kills girls for their hair. If you are, Oops" she chimed.

"You got me. Definitely behind your hair" 

I smiled and she smiled back. 

"So, What brings you to this beautiful city alone? I hope I'm not prying. "I asked. 

"There's not much of a reason really. I came home from the states after 2 years and all my friends back in Kathmandu are busy so I came alone. What about you? " 

"I had to get away from my life for some time. It got too much for me too handle as I was having a rather horrible week" 

She smiled sympathetically. "I'm so sorry. I'm sure it'll get better. " 

"A person, who I thought was my bestfriend, is marrying my ex-girlfriend. I was demoted at work. I got into a fight with my other friends. Best week ever" I replied, with false enthusiasm. 

She said, "Does your life suck or what" followed by " I'm so sorry. I have no filter when I'm drunk" 

My laugh was hollow.

"It's fine. Few days in Pokhara has helped me sort my head. I'm leaving tomorrow sadly. Would have loved to stay longer" 

"Me too. Getting back home tomorrow. My mom keeps calling me every two hours to make sure I haven't died. Young girl, travelling alone and all that. This is what I like most about staying away from home. No nagging....and I could go alone anywhere"

"I can imagine. I have a little sister and she's very vocal about the double standards regarding boy and girl privileges in Nepal"

"Your sister sounds amazing" she said and both of us laughed. 

We chatted about things from here and there like what I did for a living and how her life was like in the US. I was having fun and she was constantly smiling, so I knew she was having fun too. After a while, we decided to get away from the noise at the bar and take a walk. 

Pokhara looked even more beautiful at night. The yellow street lights caramelized everything under it. And I had good company. That was the best part. And I realized something...

"Wait. We don't even know each other's names yet" 

"Wow. you're right. Totally slipped my mind. How is that normal? " 

"Classic Alcohol" I replied. 

"I guess. But isn't this so much better. If we knew each other's names, you would secretly check me out on Facebook and realize I was such a boring person" 

"Ofcourse. I would judge you based on your facebook profile because that's totally sane....... And to be fair, the word "boring" is the last word on my mind right now" 

"Whats the first word on your mind? " she asked as she looked into my eyes. 

"Beautiful" , I said looking at her. 

"Fun, wonderful, one of the best nights in a long time" , I added. 

"Thats more than one word..." 

"What the first word on your mind? " I asked. 

"Hmm.... Glad" 

"Glad-that-I-didn't-turn-out-to-be-a-serial-killer or glad-I-met-him glad?" I joked.

"Thank-god-my-mom's-worst-fear-weren't-realized glad" , she smiled cheekily. 

For a few moments, we just walked. Taking in the breeze, the ambience and the peace that made Pokhara... well, Pokhara. Our steps matched and without anyone saying anything, we were holding  hands. Her hands were soft and I had to push away the urge to kiss it.  

I was lost in my own thoughts, when she said, 

"The real reason I came to pokhara alone is because my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me" 

"I'm so sorry" 

"Don't be. The thing is, before going to the States, I was very much in love with him. We constantly texted, called each other 24/7. But you know Long distance relationships. It was hard because I wanted to touch him and I wanted to talk to him whenever I wanted. As time flew by, the calls grew rarer. And When I was coming home, I knew break-up was on cards. It just feels strange to me because I used to love him. But, I'm just not that person anymore. He isn't as well...... I'm so sorry about this rant " 

"It's okay. I understand", I responded, honestly. 

"Enough about me. Tell me about you. Do you still love her? The girl who's getting married? "

I thought about it for a while. 

"I dont love her per se. But, as I was very much in love with her once, I think a part of me will always care about her. And the fact that my supposed bestfriend is getting married to her just enrages me. To be honest, I don't even know why" 

"Maybe because you love them both, in a way, and them getting married makes you feel alone"

"Maybe" I said, deciding if that was the answer. 

At that point, I wasn't sure if I would be able to keep down the multiple drinks I'd had.  But I was sure about two things: I wanted to taste her lips and I didn't want to not meet her again. 

"I think we should go back to the hotel. I mean not together. I mean, to our own hotels rooms. Damn it".  She sighed loudly. "What I mean is, It's getting pretty late. I'm returning to Kathmandu tomorrow but I don't have a ticket yet so I'd have to go early. I'm sorry. I have to go now" she mumbled. 

"I know me too", I said and turned to look at her. 

We stood underneath the street lamp. Alcohol was long gone from my system then and, she still looked every bit beautiful she had looked earlier that night. My heart started to beat a little faster and I knew it was now or never. I did the thing that came easiest to me since I met her. I kissed her. And she kissed me back. 

Breathless, we looked at each other. Both of us knew the kiss didn't make things easier for us in any way. 

"You know this isn't possible right? I'm going back to America in 3 weeks. I don't want to repeat what happened in my life again"

I knew. I closed my eyes and I had this idea. 

"I know and I'm just thinking out loud here. But I haven't felt this at home with someone in a very long time. I'm not saying we should date or anything. We met today under very suspicious circumstances. Either fate is at play here or someone is playing a cruel joke on us. And this is coming from someone who is not completely sold on the idea of fate"

"What do you want to do then? " , she whispered. 

"I don't even know. But I'd like to start by returning to Kathmandu together. I know it's a lot to ask "

I pulled out a business card the bus service had given me and handed it to her.

"So, if you think you'd like to see me again, be there at 8. Because I'd like to see you again. No pressure though, but think about it alright? We can do proper introductions this time , names and everything ", I pleaded. 

She looked awry but nodded her head. After that, we went our separate ways. As I was walking away, I turned to look at her to see if she was looking at me as well. She was definitely not looking at me. I waited hoping, pleading to the universe that she'd turn to look at me one last time, but she didn't. 

She turned a corner and I never saw her again.